I AM NOT A REFUGEE ANIMAL…
…Actually, mate, I am.
A big bad wolf.
Like from The Three Little Pigs. And a larrikin.
My name is Ben and I’m in trouble. I’ve become a refugee.
You see, a Sydney based, Vietnamese refugee writer has written me into a supposedly funny and dark, short story. It is called Refugee Wolf.
The writer thinks he’s oh-so-smart by re-inventing a fairytale — The Three Little Pigs — and combining it with science fiction. I think he’s a drongo.
Set in 2500 A.D, it is an “allegorical satire”, the writer says, concerning society’s debate about asylum seekers.
All I want is to be accepted under the Inter-Galactic Convention to Protect Refugee Wolves from Humans. They had persecuted me for eating too many pigs. The humans contracted me to kill mutant pigs from outer space which had landed out the back of Woop Woop. Then, they framed me ‘cos they wanted to outsource my services. They convicted and jailed me under the Excessive Eating Act.
So I escaped from Earth and flew on a rickety space shuttle to the Planet of Straw, the Planet of Sticks and the Planet of McSpaceMansions to claim asylum. I got rejected from each planet because of a host of dodgy reasons — and this was the most laughable — that I wasn’t on Spacebook! Discrimination!
The writer says that the real message behind the allegory needs to be interpreted. Towards the end of the story, I confront a three-headed pig that is a robot. On its left forehead is tattooed with the words, “We’re not full”, while on its right forehead is tattooed with, “We’re full”. On its middle forehead is tattooed with, “Bouncer”. And fair dinkum, get this, the writer tells me that the three heads really represent society having a barney.
The writer says what’s dark about the story is that the porkers control the planets which are filled with gazillions of pigs. WE THE PIGGERY INC., invent a pill called Excess. They put gazillions of pills into the water supply. Strewth! The pigs consume everything as they’re high on drugs. Which, I guess, doesn’t leave much room for big bad refugee wolves.
The porkers made me fight against another big bad, wolf called Fangsta, the prankster which was a robot, just to get into the Planet of McSpaceMansions. The thing was, after I beat it, no matter how I huffed and puffed, I still got rejected.
Apparently, the fight scene in the story is an obstacle, the writer says — something symbolic about society.
Could it really be that people are scared of big bad refugee wolves?
Mate, I tell the writer he’s no use to me unless he gets me asylum. The writer says, “I’m a refugee, too — from war-torn Vietnam — and I understand your plight.”
But we all know I’m not gettin’ in, no matter how I huff and puff.
We all know what happens to me in the original fairytale. I come down the chimney and get boiled alive. Please help me!
The thing is, who believes in fairytales, anyway?
The writer says, “The truth is out there.”
Fair dinkum, I know.
No-one loves me.
T.D. Luong admits that he is not much of a comedian and does not aspire to be one. He is seriously working on a Vietnam War novel.
Download his short story Refugee Wolf published by Flying Pig Media on http://www.amazon.com or Kindle for a limited time, priced at $U.S0.99c. It will soon be available on iBooks.
PS: On a serious note, it is not the intention of the author to undermine the feelings and experiences of asylum seekers and refugees. Also, none of the characters in the story represent any one, real person.